Somewhere

The winds today remind

me of this:.

Deep inside

Somewhere

Within the 

Grounds of Label Makers.. 

Voices, 

Alerting, Bells,

Chimes,

Echoing winds

Each of us

Our truths

Liked or not 

Time 

Timing 

Listen

Damn it

Listen

To me i am you

I am me

No voices

Instead 

I am all of me

Listening

To the 

Windows hurrling

Against their frames

As if they scream

With resistance.

And you argue

With the alert.

Of nature

Riled in anger

And the air

Being rung out..

Dharma BR Guada c2016

Abuses

Blog:

Laying here for the last few days opened many truths I have always thought but tucked away until there was another ouch, (emotional or physical) the lie "no they didn't mean that. Or say that or attack or show hate. And this is  why abusive people choose you to abuse. HOW the abused retaliate by moving forward, yet waiting for it to start or stop to be seen for the goodness and joyful self you have. My advice to myself get rid of them. He or she or hordes of these irresponsible humans acting out their version of unacceptable life. On you!

In speaking with a chaplain in the hospital

she gave me three words to believe because she does, "(1)health  (2)wellness and you are (3) loved.." Live by that... let all else go away. But these abuse truths slip into a lighted place and scramble your life again and again, maybe always

Yet must be addrested. So to any of you if you wish to send me a message about your abuser feel free. Write me a message. Remember you will get three words that you will hopefully meditate on until this has passed.

Because all deserves respect, respectful currant authentic lives not left over jabs until you become a life less lived. Or hateful, hurtful moments. 

Dharma Barbara Rose Guada c2020

Poetry Commitment

Today 

I sat

As the yellow 

/green/amber

Pollen

Fall then lay peacefully 

Everywhere

On me

A blanket of sorts

Through my hair..

Dropping from the air..

Well it is very committed 

To me and just

Kept returning..

Over and over again...

Dharma Barbara Rose Guada c2018 

 

Are you a

Are you a soldier .. Or an ambassadore?

Not so... Your Viv Collins.

For your eyes are always smiling, excited ... matching

the wonderment of

a traveler .  Theres never a tether of restriction..

Thats who you are... a traveler...

I loved your coming home...

and departures...

As I was working ...

you were amongst the all you came in contact with...

Your voice via telle.. "I am so miserable why do i do this, I just miss you so  just as you are..." Off they went to concure ..

My thoughts see you only filled with laughter and questions...

Who are you? Do you know yet?

Dharma  Barbara Rose Guada c2020

Gen Too Old

When did it happen that i became apart of that exhausting imagination "gen too old".

Anxiety so this run...

Is a symptom you can change  .. this trick worked for me. I was going for a run, 5.30 a.m. and as i went out the back door it happened, should I go forward or fright myself back in.. wait until a breath returns.
Go on and as i left the buildings my thoughts went to the dying woman in floor 6 and her partner. After hearing his evening with her.. i though as the fear closed. This is for you, feel the breeze, the light as it comes out. Here let me touch the wet bushes  can you feel it. Like a tiny shower. I'll walk in the fountain today... water grounds...
Each day i did this in hopes her journey would be lighter in the light. 

Years (2019) End

Is closing in on us.. Time is swiftly yelling out new year. 

What has this year taught me? That people living off of our tax dollars are not frugile,  instead in their desire to be right, those of us who of pay taxes got screwed. 

We have become a nation who exhaust, who knows maybe we were built brutalizing and called it squatters rights. 

Well this year provoke only loss.

Growing older is not ones "golden" years. Its hard as hell. Facing ones tombstone and the words it will say, is so painful. I hope mine will say, "she loved and respected the best she could". Or forgive me just in case you feel I didnt.or If you have nothing nice to say shut the fuck up!

But most of all "peace". 

And living in the woods is both beautiful as well as isolating. Mostly I learned you cant escape lonely.